Low self-esteem, or self-worth is often linked to poor self-physical...
Low self-esteem, or self-worth is often linked to poor self-physical image; limiting beliefs about what is possible for you in your life; unrealistic comparison to others; subjective judgements about what you believe others may think about you and a whole host of other issues that may include clinical depression, or other illness. Low self-esteem can very often cause collateral damage to your other relationships, career and success.
Ok, so getting in touch with yourself and improving this most personal of relationships is clearly very important, so I have outlined a number of strategies and techniques that you can use and apply to refresh your life now!
If you want to find out why you are not getting along with yourself then you should take time to do a stock-take - make a sort of inventory of what is going on - good, or bad! There are a numbber of ways that you can approach this, but I find that the following exercise works quite well:
Start by relaxing: I find it works better if you can find somewhere comfortable to lay down. Now do the following:
- Take some slow deep breaths to ensure your heart rate is at normal resting rate - 10-15 breaths should do it.
- Slowly start to relax each body part in sequence. Start with your head and face: concentrate on relaxing the facial muscles, especially the eyes and mouth. Release your tongue from the top of your mouth.
- Next - relax the neck and shoulder muscles and feel the tension draining away down your arms and out of the ends of your fingers. Ensure that your breathing remains slow and regular.
- Relaxyour torso and feel any tension draining down into your hips and legs.
- Relax the hips and thigh muscles and feel the tension draining down through your calves and feet and out of the ends of your toes.
Take your time with this relaxation process - this should not be rushed. Continue then to concentrate on your breathing - slowly in and out - focus on the air as it enters and leaves your nostrils. A word of caution here: whilst the object of this exercise is to relax, it is not to fall asleep. By concentrating on your breathing you will remain relaxed, but alert.
As you are slowly breathing, notice what naturally arises in your mind - if it is trivia - just let it go. Now, slowly begin to take a deep internal look at yourself and begin to establish what is working well for you, your good points - all the positive stuff - make a mental inventory so that you can write it down later.Next, establish what you do not like, or what is not working so well for you. What limiting beliefs are you harbouring about yourself? Where do these beliefs, or bad feelings come from? What is their origin? You may find that you are able to deal with some of those issues there and then. For those that you can't, there is more work to do.
When you have completed your stock-take take continue relaxing for a short period to re-energise yourself. You will find it extremely beneficial to undertake this exercise on a regular basis as a sort of meditation, so that you can really get in touch with yourself and your feelings.
It is really helpful to write down your mental inventory of all your good points - all the things about you that you are currently happy with. Writing them down makes them real and it also enables you to view them regularly and remind yourself of what is good about you!
Review the things that you have discovered as negative and the reasons for your feelings about them. Ask yourself: how real are they? How much of it is just habitual negative self-talk? If it is just habitual thought patterns, resolve to stop the habit - immediately. Negative self-talk can be stopped eventually by the practice of stopping it as soon as you recognize that you are doing it and then immediately replacing the negative spiral with positive thought, images and language; you can refer to your written list for this. Daily positive affirmations about yourself will also help this process. Remember, always start affirmations with 'I am' plus the positive affirmation.
For those things that are not resolved during relaxation, or are not habitual self-talk patterns, you have a couple of options. The first is decide to change that which can be changed. This will require you to assess what needs to be changed and what action you need to take tomake that change happen. Change does not have to happen overnight as in some cases this may be a little daunting to you. I suggest that you plan and take a series of small achievable action steps that will lead you to your desired destination.
Where the matter arising is one that you feel cannot be changed, or you are reluctant to change, then you couldopt for 'acceptance' of the situation. For true acceptance to take place without having a negative impact on your relationship with yourself , you will need to work on changing your personal response to the situation. Remember you always have a choice of response; for every perceived weakness there will be a corresponding strength - make it work for you! maybe you can also help others with similar challenges.
Finally, remember that your relationship with 'you' is always a work-in-progress, so get in to the habit of working on it - all relationships need regular attention if they are to flourish.
Posted in Home Improvement Post Date 06/29/2018